A Rogue Housewife Captured

Who is she?  I don’t really know.  According to legend, she had a great career once.  Now they say she’s doing time somewhere as a stay-at-home mom.  I heard they keep her penned up in a minimum security prison.  The prison is disguised as a fairly progressive yet strangely homogenous residential neighborhood.  She wants to break out, though.  So, if you ever meet up with her, don’t trust anything she says.

You probably wouldn’t even recognize her if you met her anyway.  She keeps busy by studying her fellow captives as she tries her best to blend in.  She goes so far as to wear those ugly prison-issue capri pants and flowing dresses.  She even breaks her back pushing that stroller all day without complaining.

But, every once in a while, she’ll go rogue.  She’ll start hurling messages over the (white picket) fence for us to read.   That’s when we get a glimpse of what really goes on behind those prison walls.  Or, as others call it, middle-class suburbia.

Her prison guards frown on watching anything other than PBS, CNN, or MSNBC.  Therefore, she has never seen Bravo’s Real Housewives shows or the ABC series Desperate Housewives.  She’s had to learn the ropes on her own.

Oh yeah, she’s got a kid and a husband too.  But the life she lives isn’t really about them, is it?  Face it.  She’s a rogue.  She only calls herself a ‘housewife’ to irk the other stay-at-home moms who seem to think that they’ve progressed beyond the 1950’s.

–Anonymous Groupie


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